Chris Merrett vs Aborigines, Muslims, University Graduates, Asians, Jews and Indians



i love islam 2

i love islam

merrett abo

merrett abo2

merrett indians

merrett indians2

Ladies and Gentlemen: We present to you – The Master Race:

Screen Shot 2013-04-02 at 9.57.23 PM

Appendix One: Merrett with dribble shirt, dried-piss pants, poking stick and double Ds sitting in outdoor pig-sty showing ‘thinking hard’ ‘hardly-thinking’ pensive expression.

Screen Shot 2013-04-02 at 9.57.51 PM

Appendix Two: Post-man-boobs Merrett outside familiar caged facility modelling freshly cleaned teeth peeved about being denied entry. 


Screen Shot 2013-04-02 at 9.57.32 PM

Appendix Three: Master-Race Merrett shows off impressive constellation encompassing breasts, centre-parted hairy smudge-mullet and freshly fingered fish-mullet.


Screen Shot 2013-04-02 at 9.58.02 PM

Appendix Four: If-It-Ain’t-White-It-Ain’t-Right Merrett showing off finger used to poke nostril and arsehole while admiring framed Ned Kelly bio.


Screen Shot 2013-04-02 at 9.57.14 PM

Appendix Five: I-Wear-My-Sunglasses-At-Night-Corey-Heart Merrett all rugged up for another night under the stars with only friend dim op-shop head torch.


Screen Shot 2013-04-02 at 9.57.06 PM

Appendix Six: Fire Safety Merrett demonstrates the correct way to pass out after six goon sacks with cigarette end aiming away from the eyes/towards generic clothes-bin teen blouse.

 Screen Shot 2013-04-02 at 10.17.23 PM

Brandon Schmidt: “Indian dogs…deserve to put their own face in a deep fryer”

Meanwhile in the city of churches…


Here’s a picture of Brandon enjoying a couple of bottles of what looks like bourbon – the bogots’ tipple of choice. Nice car too, and the “L” plates remind us that there’s zero alcohol in South Australia for learner drivers.

We trust Brandon remembers this as he rips down past the speed-traps and the breathalysers on Main North Road or the Anzac Highway on his way to sort the Indians at his next burger outlet.


Dumb, drunk racist loses his keys, blames Indians/Pakistanis/Bangladeshis

So you’ve had too much to drink, and you’re on your way home.  In your drunken state, you drop your keys on the tracks of a very busy station platform, with trains coming and going regularly.  You ask staff to retrieve them for you, and it seems you may be in for a wait, because of the trains.  You were drunk and you dropped your keys, so this is essentially your own doing.  You may be annoyed, but realise it’s your own fault.

Unless you’re this guy, which means you’re a fuckwit.

So instead, you blame the fact you dropped your keys on train tracks on Indians, Pakistanis and Bangladeshis.  Somehow, it’s their fault.  It’s also somehow their fault that you don’t have a good enough job, because they stole it by… I don’t know, taking a job as a CityRail employee who is unfortunate enough to have to work a shift where drunk asshats are catching trains.  You verbally abuse one staff member, along with generally making abusive, racist comments directed at anyone who isn’t white.  When a fellow commuter happens to ask you to calm down and tries to talk to you rationally about why what you’re saying is disrespectful and ridiculous, you get frustrated.  You stand up and tower over him as he sits.  You get in his face.  You yell, you rant.  You push his shoulder.  You call him a geek.  You tell him he needs to stand up for himself because you’re verbally abusing and pushing him the non-white people took your job.  Or something.

As a supreme example of the ‘master race’, you stagger around and display your shiny white arse crack to the world as a confirmation of your alpha male status.  Because you are a fuckwit, you think this is acceptable.

Seems legit.


Anthony Beggs and his Beef with United Petroleum

“Avi Silver and Eddie Hirsch, founders and directors of United Petroleum, have achieved one of the most dynamic and successful partnerships in the petroleum industry.

Commencing in 1981 in Victoria, Australia under the Astron banner, the directors soon established a successful chain of petrol and convenience stores under the distinctive United Petroleum brand.

United Petroleum is one of Australia’s largest and most successful independent petrol retailers, with more than 260+ branded service stations.”

Apparently Australian companies should only employ white people. This guy looks like a successful, motivated chap. In fact, I can see a future for him pumping petrol and selling Mars Bars.


By Sandy Ghandi                                                                                                                                         January 23, 2012

Last week revered neurosurgeon Charlie Teo commented about racism being alive and well in Australia.

Sandi Ghandi

Sandy Ghandi in Broome

His Aussie-born and Chinese-featured daughter told him about being on Bondi beach during an Australia Day celebration when someone told her: “Go back to your own country”.

He later discovered an Indian colleague of his had been spat on for being black.

I can relate to both events because both have happened to me.

I migrated here from Bangalore as a 12-year-old in the 70s and, despite a list of prejudiced and race-related atrocities, many fabulous things have also happened.

I am now an Australian citizen. This is my home.

Jessica Rowe’s insightful piece posted on The Hoopla, I’m not a racist, but… reminded me of a couple of tongue-in-cheek columns I wrote for the Byron Bay newspaper, The Northern Star, about racism in sport and what prompted me to write them.

One sunny day in downtown Byron Bay in early 2008, for no apparent reason, a bunch of white blokes drove past me and yelled out, “Fucking Indian monkey! Fuck off back to your own country!” and then the gutless wonders sped off.

Turns out there was a reason. There had been reports of racist incidents on the cricket pitch, involving players from both teams of the India/Australia cricket match the day before.

I’m no sports-person, and although I’m Indian by birth and origin, I’m not a cricket enthusiast. (I do eat a lot of bananas but surely that doesn’t make me a monkey and, as an Aussie, I’m in my own country, so what?)

Initially I was shocked and hurt, but relieved this had happened in broad daylight around other people, rather than meeting these guys in the dark somewhere on my own.

Then I was pissed off. So I went home, researched the “monkey incidents” and wrote a piece at the time called “Cameras don’t lie, reporters do!”

I had a bit of fun with “The Bowled and the Beautifool, starring Andrew Symonds and Harbhajan Singh”. It was published in the Northern Star.

Some two years later, racist attacks on Indian students were in the news.

It was my opinion, that the on-field argy bargy, and the subsequent shock-jock style media reporting that ensued, only served to incite racism and was instrumental in the racist attacks on Indian students that followed.

So in 2010, I wrote:

Racism – beat up or take-away?

Have we got racists? Of course we’ve got racists, in several colours, like most countries. They are an ignorant, fearful minority, often found in groups of sports-crazed, violent yobbos – when on their own, they’re gutless wonders.

There’s also the closet-racist Caucasian, who secretly thinks Caucasians are superior to Asians, or other coloured skins – these are the ‘but’ people, who say ‘I’m not a racist, but…’. Perhaps they should be called the ‘butt’ people.

If we are to enlighten our racists, we have to own them, but our pollies are in denial of their existence and some media and sporting outfits often nourish them, making it a difficult task.

Maybe we should start a sort of RA – Racist Anonymous. Racists can clandestinely attend RA meetings to admit their prejudices amongst like-minded ignoramuses, with the idea of curing themselves of their race-phobia.

Actually, let’s just kill them… with kindness. Provide some multi-coloured refugees to give them a hug and a kiss, and an Indian take-away… student, that is!”

The reply from the newsdesk was probably predictable, although I didn’t see it coming. After all, I had been submitting my weekly column to the Northern Star for four years, receiving the the stellar payment of $50 (raised from $30 after some agitation).

The email came from the then acting editor and he said, in part: “I know you are trying to push the envelope and be feisty but I think in trying to do that you sometimes confuse the point you are trying to make.”

“Like it or not, we are a family newspaper (the demographic is 40-65, mainly professional people working in Lismore, Casino and Ballina). That’s a fairly conservative audience so swear words are not going to go down too well.

“… thank you for your input to the Star, but we won’t be reconsidering the decision (to cease your column), nor will we be asking readers what they think. If we do cop some backlash and get some letters to the editor, we’ll run these in the appropriate place.”

I offered to “tweak” my words. (Surely they’d get the Shane Warne reference?)

But after an almost four-year association, the acting editor saw me off with a three-line email, one of which read: “Just to confirm that we no longer require your column for the Northern Star.”

In this ever-increasing multicultural nation in which we live, that includes mixed-race marriages producing more mixed-race offspring, sometimes it’s hard to define racism.

One theory is: “When you have a derogatory attitude to certain people based on their cultural or ethnic background, that’s prejudice. When you express your prejudice through bad words or actions, that’s racism.”

Like many other “isms” that come from bullying, to me racism is bullying with ethnic undertones.

As nasty, distasteful and scary as it is, I find it laughable – possibly one of the reasons why I took to stand-up comedy and satire and prefer to see the lighter side of the darker things in life. No racism intended!

Sandi Ghandi2*Sandy Gandhi of Byron Bay, is Australia’s most “Easterly Indian”. From Bangalore to Bangalow, her verbal jousting has endeared her to stand-up comedy audiences in Byron and beyond, including a recent successful stint in India. She launched her first book at the 2008 Byron Bay Writers Festival. Called Enlighten Up – a literary titterary, it’s a collection of some her columns and other musings, and photos.
Sandy is much in demand for corporate performances and is a regular on the comedy circuit in Northern NSW and beyond. You can get all her news at Namaste!!


Shove Your Papadums Where the Sun Don’t Shine Curry Munchers

Let’s ignore the fact that even though Eddie was parking in the wrong spot, ‘the Indians’ still went out of their way to maintain a level of politeness and friendliness. How was this level of humanity received? By scanning their note onto Facebook with a message – that he will continue to park his car in their spot, and letting his racist friends comment on how their ethnicity somehow influences them to be annoyed that he would do that.