A Modern Major Xenophobe

By Mike Carlton and Ben Pobje

 I am the very model of an immigration minister

In charge of refugees and matters maritime and sinister.

At school I studied hard at maths and lessons alphabetical,

I learnt the scriptures backwards and the canon evangelical.

I made my rise to greatness from political obscurity

Conflating xenophobia with national security.

Endlessly I preached the word to ordinary Australians

Arousing fears their homes were being overrun by aliens.

I blamed the Labor gang for this invasion of Muhammadans

Who wear the burqa, pray to Mecca, starve themselves at Ramadan.

Fanatics who would have us all obeying their sharia laws

They’d ban the Easter Bunny and abolish dear old Santa Claus.

But! Now that I’m the minister I’ve vowed to turn the boats


I’ve got a three-star general to keep our borders safe and sound.

The bleeding hearts and Greenies call me cruel and confrontational

But I riposte: “My lips are sealed on matters operational.”

When Jakarta once accused me of egregious hypocrisy

I shrugged my shoulders lightly and replied: “Well, that’s


And though it’s not much help in dealing with the Indonesians,

I quote the Bible’s letters of St Paul to the Ephesians.

With humanity and decency my only motivation

I am standing resolutely at the frontiers of the nation.

And armoured in self-righteousness I spurn each rude inquisitor

For I’m the very model of an immigration minister.


The Health of the Nation

Last week we mirrored An Open Letter to Scott Morrison from the Asylum Seekers Resource Centre Champions of Change blog.

And back in September last year Darwin journalist Kylie Stevenson wrote this informative little piece for The Punch on the fear engendered against asylum seekers by the ignoramuses who amongst other things clog Facebook up with their hate pages.

Bogan slogan

Read more

Of course, the bogots probably did not bother to read either the blog or that article or the many others which have comprehensively demolished the myths which they like to spread around. So we decided to again put up the health statistics supplied by open letter writer and physician Dr Trent Yarwood. That is so you can readily recognise the gaping holes in what is to follow.

Health stats

Now keeping these stats in mind let’s journey into the alternative fantasy universe of the bogots.

Take health expert and pioneer of do-it-yourself gender re-assignment Jayden Smedley. Jayden is one who never lets the truth get in the way of a good confected lie.

Jayden the health expert

Playmate Trilby Steinberger is only too happy to add her 2 cents worth of hatred, followed by the Scumsite chief scummer coming up the rear.

Trilby disease

Jayden as we can see has a past history on this. Not quite as drastic as Miranda who wants to bomb “thier (sic) disease ridden people” out of the water – but equally hateful and ill-informed. And of course the bogots’ favourite feared religious minority gets a mention as well.

Miranda Mills

Jayden hates dentists

The bogots’ favourite method of argument – vague accusations and third-party hearsay followed by an evidence-free tale  which even ACA or TDT would stay away from.

Now Jayden is a mine of information on health despite not being any sort of health care practitioner (unless there are witchdoctor courses on offer over teh interwebz). For instance, here is the comment to a Muslim man on his (hypothetical) bride.
Put on your Nokias

We are not sure when the Finnish phone company Nokia started producing running shoes but we guess they do if Jayden the All Knowing Quacking  says so right Jayden?


Meanwhile home-grown Fascist towel boy Andrew Watts is as always nearby loyally clinging to Jayden’s mumbo-jumbo bag.

Jayden and Andy

And Gauleiter Andy’s favourite sexual activity even manages an airing here, despite it having nothing to do with the subject.

It seems Jayden also fancies itself as a genetics expert. Lots of them amongst the bogotry.

Jayden on genetics

Then probably realising it is out-classed by the average Year 7 Science student, Jayden hurriedly moves on to hand-washing, with a link of dubious provenance posted  either from a British tabloid or an anti-Muslim site, before the Year 7 student arrives to comment.

Jayden in true bogot  style then proceeds to refuse to provide the unnamed opponent below with any factual backup despite being asked and despite the charismatic presence of leading researcher and human centipede segment “Jack Schitt”.

Jayden on handwashing

Seems to us that the Qur’an has quite a lot of passages referring to washing, washing before prayers and personal hygiene in it, as opposed to the Bible which by contrast has very few. But this does not worry Jayden, who sails in regardless like a human Costa Concordia with about the same effect.

Bogot Knowledge Base

But just so we cannot be accused of ignoring Lydi….err Jayden’s extensive albeit evidence-deprived contribution to quackery modern epidemiology here is a tribute lovingly prepared by The Muppets.

An open letter to Scott Morrison

Champions of Change logo

An open letter to Scott Morrison

Posted by Vince

On Monday this week reports began circulating regarding two recently arrived detainees on Christmas Island who had been diagnosed with typhoid.

Media outlets such as The Australian jumped on these reports and played into inaccurate perceptions of asylum seekers and migrants as dirty, diseased and generally posing a threat to the wellbeing of other Australians.

The most egregious example of this media beat-up was the press release issued by Shadow Minister for Immigration & Citizenship Scott Morrison. In an extreme case of hyperbole, Morrison wrote about the ‘threat’ to Australians – including children – of ‘illegal boat arrivals’ carrying ‘serious communicable diseases’.

Morrison went as far as listing how many asylum seekers in detention on Christmas Island had been diagnosed with a disease and the type of each disease as ‘evidence’ of this threat.

As pointed out by infectious diseases physician, Trent Yarwood, this was not evidence at all but a ‘crass piece of political opportunism’ that demonstrated Morrison’s obvious ‘limited understanding of communicable disease’.

Yarwood wrote an open letter to help inform the public of the facts of the matter.

The Asylum Seeker Resource Centre has re-published this letter below and is in complete agreement with Yarwood’s conclusion that Morrison’s statement has ‘no merit either political or scientific and should be withdrawn’.

Tuesday, 28th February, 2012
Mr Scott Morrison
Member for Cook
House of Representatives
Parliament House
PO Box Canberra ACT 2001
Dear Mr Morrison,

I am writing to you regarding your press release dated February 27, 2012, entitled “Typhoid cases on latest boats highlight the risk of Labor’s border failures”.

I believe it was a crass piece of political opportunism and was not only using the plight of asylum seekers for point-scoring, but plumbed new depths by making the health conditions suffered by these unfortunate people a further reason for the Australian population to fear them. Even worse than this, however is the gross misrepresentation you committed through your obviously limited understanding of communicable disease and the methods for describing its frequency.

The number of cases of communicable disease are of little utility in interpreting health statistics unless a comparison figure is given — for example, the rates/100,000 population or the number of cases in a given area. Reviewing the numbers of cases of diseases in the Christmas Island asylum seekers compared to the total number of cases reported in Australia for 2011 is instructive:

Disease rates

Even without any medical knowledge, it can be seen from these figures that the number of cases suffered by asylum seekers make up a tiny fraction of the total number of cases in Australia each year, and the tone of your press release vastly over-emphasises the risk to the Australian population from the extremely small number of cases introduced by asylum seekers each year.

Secondly, the risk of transmission of these diseases is extremely small. Tetanus is not transmissible from person to person. Shingles only poses a risk to other people if there is close contact with open lesions.

Chlamydia and gonorrhoea require sexual contact. Most cases of syphilis reported will not be infectious syphilis, and those that are require sexual contact. Hepatitis C requires blood-blood contact and sexual transmission is rare. The main mode of transmission of Hepatitis B in asylum-seeker source countries is mother-to-child transmission; transmission to others requires blood (or less likely sexual) contact and most Australians are vaccinated.

Dengue and malaria both require the presence of appropriate mosquito vectors which would need to bite the infected asylum seekers at the time which the organism is circulating in their blood. Therefore, it can be said that these diseases pose very little threat to the health of any Australians — due to the small number of cases and their poor infectivity.

Finally, your singling out of asylum seekers to Christmas Island as a source of these diseases is unfair. Most of the diseases are endemic in Australia, so the disease could not, by definition be introduced to Australia.

Typhoid is a frequent infection in returned travellers, but the risk of becoming endemic in a country like Australia with good sanitation and a robust public health system is negligible. The notification data presented above shows there is a large number of cases of these notifiable diseases that occur each year in Australia. The vast majority of these are in Australia citizens; in some cases in returned travellers and in some cases in people who have not left Australia. It is certain that the number of cases of chlamydia and gonorrhoea in visa-overstayers who come by plane far exceeds the number seen in these boat people.

Certain groups of overseas tourists on holiday visas almost certainly have higher rates of some of these infections than these asylum seekers. I expect that tourism organisations would have been outspoken in criticism if you had made a similar statement about backpackers — who are far more likely to fraternise with Australian citizens.

It is a marker of the lack of compassion the Coalition and the Labor party hold for asylum seekers that in addition to the hardship of their journey and the documented harms of mandatory detention that you now feel it appropriate to further vilify these poor unfortunates on the basis of medical illnesses that pose almost no threat to the health of Australians.

In short, your media release is ill-informed, not supported by publicly accessible health data, discriminatory and seems to have been intended to prey on fears of the foreigner and fear of pestilence. It has no merit either political or scientific and should be withdrawn.

I will be openly publishing this letter to ensure as many people as possible can be informed of the reality of the situation as opposed to your propaganda. I thank you in advance with not replying with a form letter from your staff informing me that your figures are correct and the straw man defence that the blame lies with the Labor party for not introducing the Coalition’s policy of detention on Nauru.

Yours faithfully,
Trent Yarwood
Infectious Diseases Physician and Public Health Registrar