Scene – a discussion between a collection of asylum seeker haters. Mark starts off with the usual script cliches – illegal boats, failed border protection, Strayans in need blah blah blah zzzzz
Ubiquitous xenophobe Donna Jones then bravely attempts higher mathematics but runs out of steam somewhat, since she only has 20 digits .
Enter Darlene Loller to raise the stakes to new heights. First of all she breathlessly informs her fellow bogots that asylum seekers have 3 to 6 wives. Wow! And all the access as well…
Access to what? Must be great dating agencies on asylum seeker boats. And have they changed the Marriage Act this week to allow plural marriage?
Then comes the bogot favourite, the second or third-hand dodgy anecdote from some “friend” or “relative”. This one however is from TAFE and it sounds very much like the teacher was doing some piss-taking, faced as he was no doubt with a substitute class of Adelaide bogeens doing Cert I Text Messaging and who were horrified that they actually had a non-white relief teacher.
We don’t know what the fellow looked like or where he was from but that doesn’t stop Darlene from getting so agitated at the thought of this uxorious and sartorially elegant foreign gentleman that she proposes the Government stimulate Ikea, presumably to cater for all those extranumerary wives – or maybe provide mattresses for the harem of bogeens he will no doubt ensnare in his clutches with liberal applications of Hugo Boss and Nivea for Men. Much more effective than the token squirt of Lynx on an unwashed body that no doubt passes for grooming amongst the bogeens’ everyday male suitors.
“He could have groomed himself heaps more… and we are paying for it”
Ikea rises to the occasion, throbbing with excitement
Someone needs to tell Wayne Swan…
Next Darls tries her hand at an analysis of the characteristics of tertiary education students and comes to the conclusion that Chinese students learn from “us” to “perfect” the university ratings, whatever the hell that means.
At least Darls has a variation on Stop the Boats. Seems like students and Aussie cars are heading across the ocean in their thousands for the salubrious environs of Salisbury..
No doubt they have heard of Salisbury’s unrivalled cultural reputation, despite its residents having something called a “welfare basket”, presumably for the cheap and tasty goods they can get at the Indian market.
So chardy-sippers who think Adelaide stops at Rundle Mall – take note!