I Can Hear Them Talking Outside As I Am Typing


Rod Jones wants to ban other cultures because they are colouring his once Anglo suburbs. How dare they darken the white glare of morality! Rob even goes on to use the example of the behaviour of Australian tourists when we visit other countries! Rightly so! We are always so polite and respectful of other cultures.

“Concerned by the number of incidents of Australians being arrested, imprisoned, assaulted or injured, DFAT has issued a dedicated travel advisory.”

Linda is equally concerned as she becomes aware of a congregation of bilingual speakers assembling outside her bedroom window as she types in anger. She wonders what they are saying, and assumes that it is about her, an invisible woman on the other side of a wall, sitting at a computer. Like all examples offered by xenophobes, hers sounds decidedly fabricated.

Finally Bonnie pipes in with an expert analysis on the social issues surrounding post war immigrants, and announces that those who speak other languages around their friends are actually honing their plans to take over the country, and not just speaking in their primary dialect.

Thank dog for these street-smart patriots. I’ll sleep well tonight, knowing they’re protecting my freedoms from those who speak more than language.