Dear ‘Grand Magus’,
I think I have a few more humane solutions to your obvious insecurities regarding people with dark skin.
Firstly, get a job so you can afford a car. That way you won’t have to put up with sharing public transport. Most people are okay with this concept.
Secondly, it is encouraged that you do some more lines of coke in order to stunt your senses of smell and hearing. That way you won’t have to smell the multicultural aromas of a multicultural country.
Thirdly, don’t have sexual relations with Indian women if they don’t turn you on. Stick to white people because none of them are hideously overweight, stinking or living in slobby squalor.
Finally, if ‘fingering poo’ is distressing you so much, delete ‘Two Girls One Cup’ from your hard drive.
‘Hannabelle’: Don’t quit your day job in order to pursue a career in comedy. Well, firstly get a day job. And then don’t quit it.