The APP grapples sweatily with same-sex marriage

On very rare occasions the Australian Pathetic Protectionist Party moves away from vilifying Muslims and ponderously chews over other issues.

Failed serial political candidate Nicky Folkes is bursting with excitement about a new petition he has found to sign.

APP Gay Marriage

Leaving aside the fact that the Labor National Conference delegates are unlikely to take any notice of him and his micro-party and with  his newly-discovered aptitude for theology Nicky then breathlessly informs the masses that the PM is possessed by the devil. We hope he has let the Labor Party know.

But wait!  APP stalwart Anna Dean dares to disagree with Nicky. Not only does she dare to disagree with Nicky she makes an intelligent observation while doing so.

Sadly this amazing event lasts a mere nanosecond as Christian soldier Harry Grech wades in, tells Anna to shut up  and treats fellow party members to his deeply intimate knowledge of same sex relationships.

In fact the only concession to compassion Harry the Hero will make is that he wants little kids to stop getting their heads twisted – something they have no doubt learnt from the APP.

APP Gay Marriage 3

Speaking of twisted heads, let’s go back to Nicky. After making a blanket statement about the Liberal Party which is not quite true (a controlling faction of the party is against same sex marriage, its leader has confessed he is “scared” of gays, but a considerable number of individual Coalition politicians are not), in order to maintain control  he then asks Anna a completely pointless question. Nicky then conflates same sex marriage with “the destruction of the family unit” and of course drags in his favourite political scapegoats, the Greens.

And Nicky, by the way we happen to think that a compassionate, decent, intelligent and tolerant Bob Brown would be a much better father to anyone’s kids than would just about any member of an intolerant racist misogynist white exceptionalist party like the Pathetics.

But there’s more. Enter the APP’s own sexpert Bec Atkins, accompanied by Dirty Harry, to add their 5c worth of mythology.

Bec is rather keen on this “species furthering” stuff. Maybe she’s trying to get a one-woman membership drive going for the Pathetics?  Maybe Bec should take up dog-breeding?

Nick Folkes chimes in

Err…hate to tell you this Nicky but “marriage” is not thousands of years old – not for the general population. Women (and to some extent men) were barter objects used by wealthy and/or powerful parents to cement alliances, ensure dynastic continuity and safeguard financial and property assets. People of the non-monied classes simply co-habited with the person they chose, or in the case of poor women, were abducted, or in the case of slave women, were often made part of a wealthy man’s harem. Their fates are not recorded.

APP Gay Marriage 5

Now grizzled veteran Jean Gilmour enters the fray. Jodie Smith is another one who is offering intelligent and reasoned opinions and Jean is here to put a stop to all that nonsense.

Then having put that unruly gel in her place, Jean climbs her personal Mt Sinai, assumes prophetic mode and declaims

God's law

 Imagine, a far right misogynist homophobic party with absolutist religious foundations. Do the Pathetics have a real Hizbollah thing happening there?

“No Sex Please We’re Bogots” – Special X rated edition

Bogots spend a lot of time thinking about sex. Probably not much time having it – after all come on now, have you seen them?

But they are very concerned about a range of sexual issues. The first issue which concerns them is homosexuality.

"Jack Stone" and Paul Toohey

Bogots are uncomfortable with homosexuality and often in denial about their own orientation. On the one hand, trawling for supporters for their hate pages as they do (because with them it’s all about size, not quality), they occasionally say things like “i dont care if two fags wanna get married i just hate burqas…” or words to that effect. On the other hand they are very quick to use words like “faggot” and “gay” to demonise their opponents, and when they are not drowning asylum seekers or chesting up for “white Straya” they can often be found frolicking in homophobic groups.

Andy & Donna

Secondly they are very interested in the sex life of Muslims. As far as we know, Muslims have sex just like everyone else on the planet, but not according to the bogotariat.

Ronald Monroe

Pedeophile? A new perversion there Ronnie.

Christopher O' Reilly

For a young bloke Chris certainly seems to know a lot more than he probably should about women’s bits. And “teh_FGM”

Female Genital Mutilation is a grave problem in certain parts of the world. It is certainly not confined to a small number of Muslims who practice it. But very very few Muslims in Australia would be victims.

Property tycoon “Ele Fre”gives us the lowdown on someone called “MOMO”. Scary stuff – “Ele”‘s theological knowledge that is.

Elessa

Fabric expert Ang Os draws attention to the “gay Muslins” – that’s nice Ang, now we know what fabric is  in for Spring – before going down the predictable scary paedophile path.

In what passes for conversation in one of their covens, several Islamophobes come to grips with their belief that “child marriages” (code for “paedophilia”, their favourite perversion) are rife in the Middle East. Now “Ray G” actually tries to insert some factual evidence into the discussion but is quickly sat upon by the others.

Bonnie Caverly

Bonnie Caverly 2

“Ray G” of course knows as we do that the notorious picture showing young men with small girls is in fact a Muslim wedding, but  the little girls are actually junior bridesmaids. But then again it is not as much fun and not so loin-stirring for the phobes if they are faced with the truth. So after being pointed in the right direction they just keep going on and on. Obsessed much?

Next, Mary Jane for instance wonders about “dirty Muslim men” bringing “child brides” into this country. Never mind that  no one in Australia is allowed to get married before the age of 18 – perhaps Mary lives in another country? In both the state of Georgia in the US and the Republic of Georgia in the Caucuses, both Christian majority jurisdictions, and in Scotland, part of the UK, you can be married long before 18. In  fact you are more likely to find a “child bride” in Bonny Scotland than you are in suburban Sydney.

Convert to Allan

We are rather interested too in this new deity called Allen. Does she mean Alan Jones perhaps? We can assure her unequivocally that Alan Jones is not interested in having a child bride.

Michelle Alexander

Well Michelle, all religions are inherently anti-woman. And we know plenty of non-Muslim men in Australia who are dickheads where women are concerned. Just look at the stats on domestic violence and sexual assault in this country. And sexual predators don’t care whether you are naked or covered from head to foot because sex offences are all about power not sexual attraction.

Now can anybody help Ellen with a copy of the “quarne” (sic). We can’t.

But Steve Clayton has assured her that Muslims are “shirt-lifters” as well as having a perverted fondness for animals. One can only assume that Steve has deep and intimate knowledge of these things. Must be tiring being polyperverse, eh Steve?

Ellen Forrester

Ryan is obviously a serious seeker after truth.

Ryan Leaf

However it is unlikely he will find out though because no sensible woman of any religious persuasion would go near him.

Samantha Mitchell

Samantha thinks that Muslim women are very tiny. We doubt if Muslim women are under anyone’s thumb – certainly no more so than Christian women.

And Marg has a very unhealthy interest in the clitorises of other women. We would advise women to stay away from Marg. We are also amazed that these kids have managed to get married in Australia at the age of 9 – oh that’s right, we are talking about Marg now and this is Straya.

Marg Lennon

“Hammer Field” is yet another self-appointed “sexpert”. Check out his picture below and you can see why he might lack practical knowledge.

Hammer Field

“Hammer Field” is very excited about “thighing”. So are a lot of the bogots, we’ve noticed.

Nicky Folkes

Failed serial political candidate Nick of course is bursting with tumescent insight. After damning Islam with the charge of chauvinism he then makes a totally chauvinistic observation about women.

Continuing with the burgeoning excitement, he then lovingly describes bending over for terrorists.

Now despite their intense, somewhat obsessive and downright pornographic  interest in what they imagine  the sex lives of Muslims is, bogots cannot help assuming the high moral ground (you know, the one they are never on themselves) when it comes to their opponents. Here’s homespun homophobe Toohey again on motherhood.

Paul Toohey

So what were you fed as a child Paul? Oh wait…don’t tell us!