Halal meat converting Aussies: MP

One would assume that Members of Parliament would be restrained enough, mature enough and knowledgeable enough not to buy into the sorts of mythologies the bogots do.

However that is somewhat of a forlorn hope.

We have already seen the antics of supposedly mainstream politicians like Senator Corey Bernardi. Now we have yet another MP, this time someone from the House of Representatives who obviously wants to balance the stupidity across both Houses, lining up for the title of Canberra Idiot of the Week.

This week and every week by the look of things.



The West Australian November 25, 2011, 3:50 pm

A WA Liberal MP has claimed Australians are unknowingly being converted to Islam by eating Halal meat.

In a speech to Parliament yesterday, backbencher Luke Simpkins said most Australians did not know that most of the meat they ate came from animals killed in accordance with Muslim law.

“By having Australians unwittingly eating Halal food we are all one step down the path towards the conversion, and that is a step we should only make with full knowledge and one that should not be imposed upon us without us knowing,” Mr Simpkins told Parliament.

“What is happening is wrong. Too often the minorities in this country are looked after without regard to the majority.”

Mr Simpkins said he had carried out an unofficial survey in his northern-suburbs electorate of Cowan and had discovered that most meat at major chains such as Coles or Woolworths had been killed under Halal conditions, but had not been labelled as such.

He tabled a petition demanding that all Halal meat be clearly identified, complaining people could not buy meat for their “Aussie barbecue” without the influence of the “minority religion”.

Mr Simpkins said that Mohammed the prophet of Islam had talked of how the religion could be expanded around the world by getting people to eat Halal meat.

“He reportedly said, ‘The non-believers will become Muslims when, amongst other things, they eat the meat that we have slaughtered’. This is one of the key aspects to converting non-believers to Islam,” Mr Simpkins said.

The petition tabled by Mr Simpkins had been organised by the Barnabas Fund, an organisation that supports Christians living in Muslim countries.

Immigration Minister Chris Bowen said Opposition Leader Tony Abbott should pull Mr Simpkins into line.
“All members of Parliament should be looking to promote understanding and harmony between religions. Mr Simpkins has done the complete opposite,” he said.


You can find Luke Simpkins on Facebook when he is not relentlessly prowling the butcher shops and meat sections of supermarkets rescuing Christians from that damn sinister halal meat.

Luke Simpkins



Nourishment Nazi-style

Sometimes moronic stupidity takes a while to announce itself whenever the bogots set up a group. Initially they might even pretend to be “concerned citizens” actually believing they are worrying about a current issue. They may even fool normal people into actually going over and debating with them.

But sooner or later their true selves emerge.

Take this silly group called “We Hate Muslims “   Petition to Ban Halal Products in Australia for instance. Not content with ramping up the fear factor using lurid tales of evil conspiracies to restrict the bogot from his/her favourite tucker, or worse still pretending to be concerned with issues of animal cruelty, they have now come out of the closet with what they are really on about.

halal idiots
A flourish of swastikas announces a procession of morons unmatched on few other Facebook pages. Brad Draugr Herman shows us his cunning linguistic skills with a couple of wedges of bad German with the admin waddling to catch up.

Here’s Brad ladies. He tells us he’s a bong maker.

Brad Herman

He likes walks on the beach, small furry creatures, interesting green plants, death metal, dead bass players and cheap goon. No overt signs of any nutzi inclinations but that herbal stuff will give you paranoid fantasies all the time. And also make you write bad German.

Now Josh Coghlan displays no such ambiguity (and considerably fewer language skills) as he barks “88” before resuming his torture of the budgie. Josh likes quiet walks by the lake, big throbbing boats, wet fishy things and Nazis.

Josh Coughlan

Someone better tell him quick that seafood is halal before he tucks into his next nosh-up at Belmont 16 Footers.

We’ll spare you a photo of Sean Blanch from Windale because we suspect he is either about 12 or he is somewhat impaired. Or both.

He rounds off the discussion with a heartfelt Sieg Heil and the breathtaking information that he has a “swasticka” (sic) on his back.

The Jewish community in the Newcastle area is small but active. So we’d strongly advise Sean not to take his shirt off anywhere public – or anywhere near any Poles, Ukrainians or Greeks, all of whom have fairly large communities in the area and all of whom would have lost at least one relative to the Nazis.

Now we come to the real nutzi in the woodpile. “Pasta Raz”. “Pasta” doesn’t like anything very much except Nazism but he does manage to get around spreading the message. For instance he fancies himself as a political philosopher as he declaims on yet another anti-Muslim group’s Wall.

Pasta Raz

He is so excited by his own rhetoric that he later expands on his argument as he gives advice along with his version of economic history to the anti-Muslim admin.

Unlike “Pasta” we have a fairly good understanding of what Hitler and the Holocaust was all about. And we offer the following advice for all those wannabe Nazis and other morons who think the grisly artifacts of Nazism are a source of humour.

Follow your leader

No Halal !!!

Food experts David and Jen discuss the product placement in our local supermarkets.


We are sure that supermarket managers and customers will be thrilled to know that unknown people with possible questionable hygiene are foraging around the chilled meat displays of the nation in their quest for a Halal-less Straya.

Meanwhile Debbie O’ Donnell is quite adamant we recon (sic)

So it’s a pity Debbie hasn’t taken her own advice on board.

BACONGATE!! Or; onoez, teh darkies be steelin ma bacons!!!!1!

So, people are getting their knickers in a twist about the
“no bacon at KFC” video and news stories that have popped up,
screaming OMG SHARIA LAWWWWWW!!!! and various other forms of
butthurt. When you talk about “sharia law”, I assume you’re
referring to theocracy, or clerical fascism; the imposition of
religious law on a nation, and the enforcement of it by the state
apparatus (cops & courts), and/or violence (eg Dubai, Oman
IIRC, the bits of Afghanistan & Pakistan that are or were
under Taliban rule, Iran partly, and Saudi Arabia, though that one
seems more like plain oldskool absolute monarchy with religious
trimmings). That’s bad and wrong and stupid and dangerous and
broken no matter which religion, and hasn’t only happened with
Islam. It’s a political issue, not a religious issue; it’s the
religious nutters who try to make it so. Separation of church and
state FTMFW. People observing sharia or halal in their private
lives – or private contracts, which is what a restaurant in a free
market is – is not the same thing at all. No more than a kosher
deli makes us Israel, or a German restaurant serving knockwürst and
sauerkraut makes us all Nazis. No-one is imposing their rules on
you, or the nation; they’re making a service available to people
who want it, just like a vegetarian restaurant, or a biblical
bookshop. It would be theofascism to impose it on everyone OR to
ban it. Please try not to confuse the two; that’s the kind of
muddle-headed, kneejerk xenophobia that makes protesting about REAL
human rights issues impossible. Secondly, the chance of actual
theocracy / clerical fascism happening in Australia is precisely
zero. Anyone telling you otherwise has their head up their ass, or
is trying to sell something – usually you, to their advertisers.
They’re slightly more than zero in the US, but the danger there is
not from the muzzies. Third, it’s apparent that your newfound
concern for “human rights” is a flimsy veil for hating on the scary
brown people. “Their country”? One, what in that story makes you
think anyone involved isn’t Australian? You know there have been
Muslims in Australia in some numbers since the 1860s at the very
least, right? – yeah, longer than there ~was~ a country called
Australia. Probably on the First Fleet, which had Chinese, Africans
and Jews that I know of; sorry, CBF looking up the records to check
for muzzahs. Two, you know that Islam isn’t a country, right? Or a
group of countries, or an ethnicity. There are European white
Muslims since at least the middle ages, as well as Chinese, Indian,
Indonesian, Malay, Finnish, freakin Eskimos for all I know. Where
was all the OMG human rights while PEOPLE were drowning on our
doorstep? Where were you while we were illegally holding PEOPLE in
conditions that amount to torture? Where were you, come to that,
when people were ACTUALLY being murdered for their beliefs, or
their sexuality, or their gender, or for speaking up, in ACTUAL
theofascist Islamic regimes? Yeah, not so much. But ONOZ DEY BE
TAKIN MA BACON?!!??! Education? Lack of imagination? Information?
You guys can fucking talk. Stop sucking Today Tonight Murdoch cock
and go reed moar, lissen moar, grow the fuck up moar. Your
kneejerk, unthinking blind prejudice is NOT. HELPING. Hint: search
and replace “halal” for “kosher” in that story and read it again.
Try “vegetarian” if you’d rather. Bear in mind that the word
“halal”/”kosher”/”vegetarian” is prominently advertised, as it’s a
*marketing*plus*, not a secret fucking conspiracy. It’s all over
the goddamn place before you walk in. It’s on the front. door. ffs.
And there’s another KFC down the road. Take note: “the employee may
have been harassed by the customer before his meltdown / statements
from other customers who were in the store at the time / indicate a
customer had directed offensive language and became abusive towards
the team member when the customer’s preferred selection [bacon] was
not available at that [prominently labelled halal] store.” Now who
looks like the dickhead? Oh I forgot, you only need to read the
headline to get your “education”. The carefully selected headline,
followed by the carefully selected lead paragraphs, burying the
actual story at the end, as carefully managed by Channel 9 to
trollolol easily led morons for their advertisers. As fucking
usual. Reed moar harderrderrp. Anyone who walks in
there, PAST all the signage, and demands a bacon sandwich, loudly
and repeatedly till the server loses his shit, AND FILMS IT, is a
fucking redneck entitled shithead trying to make a retarded redneck
But no, sympathise with the fuckwit redneck,
they’re the real victim here. Fail. Oh, I forgot, Muslims aren’t
people, so insulting them doesn’t count, so I guess I did start
that. My bad. Or wait, did baconboy start it? I’m so confused.
tl:dr: stop pretending you’re on our side; your real motivations
are transparent and a fucking disgrace.

Why Do They Call Us Racist?? Waaaaah!

Um, we call you racists because…:
(Note: If you were wondering why so often we categorise racism with Islamaphobia, you only need to read a few of these to understand why).

Canteen Menu Avoids Scrutiny

Hi Gemma and Matthew. We aren’t quite sure why you need to attack a public school because of your own problems of racism and bigotry. Schools have an obligation to provide food to all of its students. If there are Muslim children at the school, the canteen is not doing other students a disservice by providing food for them. They are children, not terrorists. Sure, they’ve had no say as to what religion they must be a part of, but neither have kids from other religions.

Did the meat pies go to a vote? Did the frozen yoghurt go to a vote? Did the garlic bread go to a vote?

Then Anoop jumps on the hatred-for-halal bandwagon without full understanding. Does anyone else see the irony of meat eaters discussing the inhumanity in killing animals a different way to how the animals they eat are killed?

For food to be halal, it should either not be outright haram or it should not have additives that are haram. Sometimes “gelatine” is added to processed yogurt. While yogurt itself is perfectly halal, “gelatine” may make it haram, when we know that “gelatine” is made from pork and other animal leftovers.
Although, all foods are halal in all five general food groups, animal meat is a special case. Meat is generically halal meaning that the consumption of meat is not absolutely prohibited, but it needs to fulfil two simple criteria to be consumable by Muslims.
Firstly, the meat of all animals may be eaten with the exception of “… dead meat, and blood, and the flesh of swine, and that on which any other name has been invoked besides that of God. But if one is forced by necessity, without wilful disobedience, nor transgressing due limits, then he is guiltless. For God is Oft-forgiving Most Merciful.” (Qur’an, 2:173). Notice the remark at the end of this verse that in times of necessity or when there is nothing else to eat to survive, the forbidden meat mentioned in the verse can be consumed. This is called the “principle of necessity” in Islamic Law and extends to all prohibitions. A prohibition is temporarily lifted at times of crisis and survival is at stake.
The second criterion is the way in which an animal’s life ends, which has to be in accordance with Islamic regulations. Life is a sacred blessing of God to creation, animals as well as humans. If the life of an animal has to be ended for survival, then its life should only be taken in the name of God. Hence, the phrase bismillah (in the name of God) must be uttered just before slaughtering an animal. Only a Muslim or a monotheistic person such as a Christian or a Jew can fulfil this criterion. Muslims, therefore, can eat the meat slaughtered according to Christian and Jewish religious guidelines. Muslims cannot consume the meat of animals that are sacrificed in the name of any deity or idol.
When animals are slaughtered for the purpose of food, all blood has to come out of the body. This is achieved by an incision to the jugular vein of the animal. The Prophet Muhammad also advised that the task is to be completed with one incision while the eyes of the animal are covered so that it does not see the instrument. An animal should not be slaughtered in front of another to prevent unnecessary stress. Some people allege this is inhumane and causes a lot of pain to the animal. They give as evidence the body of the animal convulsing vigorously after the cut. In reality though, as proved by Professor Schultz of Hanover University in Germany, the Islamic way of slaughtering an animal gives no pain while the alternative method of Captive Bolt Stunning (CBS) is quite painful. He did this in an experiment, where the sensations of the brain activity of animals were measured and compared by EEG.
The first three seconds from the time of Islamic slaughter as recorded on the EEG did not show any change from the graph before the slaughter, thus indicating the animal did not feel any pain during or immediately after the incision. The EEG recorded a condition of deep sleep or unconsciousness caused by large quantity of blood gushing out from the body. After 6 seconds, the EEG recorded zero, showing no feeling of pain at all, even though the heart was still beating and the body convulsing vigorously (a reflex action of the spinal cord), driving maximum blood from the body, resulting in hygienic meat for the consumer. Whereas with CBS the animals were apparently unconscious soon after stunning, the EEG showed severe pain immediately after stunning. The heart of the stunned animal stopped beating, resulting in the retention of more blood in the meat, rendering it unhygienic for the consumer. It is for these reasons that Muslims establish halal labelled butcher shops in order to make hygienic and religiously pure meat available to Muslims.