“He could have groomed himself heaps more… and we are paying for it”

Scene – a discussion between a collection of asylum seeker haters. Mark starts off with the usual script cliches – illegal boats, failed border protection, Strayans in need blah blah blah zzzzz

Ubiquitous xenophobe Donna Jones then bravely attempts higher mathematics but runs out of steam somewhat, since she only has 20 digits .

Mark Aldridge boats

Enter Darlene Loller to raise the stakes to new heights. First of all she breathlessly informs her fellow bogots that asylum seekers have 3 to 6 wives. Wow!  And all the access as well…

Access to what? Must be great dating agencies on asylum seeker boats. And have they changed the Marriage Act this week to allow plural marriage?

Then comes the bogot favourite, the second or third-hand dodgy anecdote from some “friend” or “relative”. This one however is from TAFE and it sounds very much like the teacher was doing some piss-taking, faced as he was no doubt with a substitute class of Adelaide bogeens doing Cert I Text Messaging and who were horrified that they actually had a non-white relief teacher.

Dumb Darlene

We don’t know what the fellow looked like or where he was from but that doesn’t stop Darlene from getting so agitated at the thought of this uxorious and sartorially elegant foreign gentleman that she proposes the Government stimulate Ikea, presumably to cater for all those extranumerary wives – or maybe provide mattresses for the harem of bogeens he will no doubt ensnare in his clutches with liberal applications of Hugo Boss and Nivea for Men. Much more effective than the token squirt of Lynx on an unwashed body that no doubt passes for grooming amongst the bogeens’ everyday male suitors.

Moreover

“He could have groomed himself heaps more… and we are paying for it”

Ikea stimulated

Ikea rises to the occasion, throbbing with excitement

Someone needs to tell Wayne Swan…

Next Darls tries her hand at an analysis of the characteristics of tertiary education students and comes to the conclusion that Chinese students learn from “us” to  “perfect” the university ratings, whatever the hell that means.

At least Darls has a variation on Stop the Boats. Seems like students and Aussie cars are heading across the ocean in their thousands for the salubrious environs of Salisbury..
Dumb Darlene2

No doubt they have heard of Salisbury’s unrivalled cultural reputation, despite its residents having something called a “welfare basket”, presumably for the cheap and tasty goods they can get at the Indian market.

Dumb Darlene3

So chardy-sippers who think Adelaide stops at Rundle Mall – take note!

Oh dear…

I see dumb people

Anna Dean’s Halal Hysteria

“…A halal ate my baby!!”

Commercial Facebook pages are rather dull places. However this doesn’t seem to stop frenzied obsessive bigoted nutjobs from marching on and having foaming tantrums if the business does something they do not like.

In the case of supermarket giant Coles, it is supposedly doing what a business sensitive to consumer needs and aware of its target market wants and marking products as halal or kosher as appropriate. It also provides nutritional information on products telling consumers if they contain nuts, if they are gluten-free or if they contain dairy products, so that customers unable to eat these products may make informed choices.

So along comes Islamophobe Anna Dean in full Joan of Arc mode accompanied by a rag tag bunch of bogot fanatics.

Halal hysteria 1

Now note that Anna by her own admission already buys her meat from an independent butcher so we are puzzled as to why Coles marketing practices concern her so much. However this is nothing new for us. The strange cognitive processes of the bogot continue to be a mystery.

Halal hysteria 2

Not to be outdone by their leader, the rest of the bogots climb out of the ruck and start to clamour for a hearing.

Halal hysteria Eve

Err speak for yourself sweetheart. Yet another clown who thinks “Australian values” = her own brain farts.

Eve de Laurent

Another CGI patriot from Bogot Central Casting

And no one “pays” for halal certification except the meat producers. Just as they pay for veterinary services, licensing fees to health authorities and other fees which enable their businesses to run. They then pass these costs down the supply chain to consumers. That is the nature of capitalism.

So are you now advocating a Communist society perhaps where the state owns the means of production? Or unregulated backyard slaughter – maybe you’d like to butcher and carve up your own steer while sinking goon by the pool?

Halal hysteria 4

A breathe of fresh air as someone sane points out that halal slaughter is no crueller than conventional non-halal slaughter in Australia. However the elevated tone lasts a mere nano-second as the Maid of Facebook lurches back into full shrillness linking halal certification with an escalating range of horrors for which in typical bogot style it offers no evidence.

And Adam Richards, racism is a form of bigotry. You don’t get let off being labelled as intolerant just because Islam is a religion, not an ethnic group.

Adam Richards, you are a bigot.

Halal hysteria 4

Now the Patriot Posse is in full flight, complete with fuzzy logic-theology from Wagga evangelist Mrs Palmer and the Five Granddaughters, all huddled under the mythical burqa which will ultimately consume them. Balaam’s ass gets a look-in as well, though it has nothing to do with Islam.

There are enough asses in that thread without dragging in a mythical Biblical one.

Ass

Halal hayseed

Straight from rural Queensland comes Debbie Monroe, amateur religious historian, resplendent in a borrowed Wonder Woman outfit, fired up to give us the revelation that she is racist. Yawn, yeah we knew that Debbie.

Halal hysteria 7

Now as tends to happen whenever we feature a stand-off between our folk and the Farces Forces of Bogotry, the dialogue degenerates quickly as the fake freaks take centre stage. Turd “Toad Man” is first as befits waste products expelled noisomely, followed by “Ron Proud”. This is supposed to have the effect of generating gales of laughter amongst the anti-bigot posters and the TAB members watching the thread scaring all those unwashed feral lefties who are also posting.

One of the TAB folk sums it up nicely for the benefit of the Coles admin, who has left to do something presumably more riveting, like watching grass grow on the local bowling green.

Coles – just ignore this pack of neo-Nazi scumbags. They DO NOT represent Australia.

UPDATE

Just when you thought it was safe to return to Coles, St Anna of Orleans Facebook vomited up this pearler.

Halal hysteria 10

1. Animals are bled out when they are dead

2. Halal slaughter of Australian meat is done in Australia by accredited Muslim slaughter-men who are Australian. Just like everywhere else in the meat industry.

3. Coles probably thinks Anna is as deluded as we do

We now have some insight into why Joan of Arc was executed by the Church in the 15th Century –  if she was anything like Anna.

“No Sex Please We’re Bogots” – Special X rated edition

Bogots spend a lot of time thinking about sex. Probably not much time having it – after all come on now, have you seen them?

But they are very concerned about a range of sexual issues. The first issue which concerns them is homosexuality.

"Jack Stone" and Paul Toohey

Bogots are uncomfortable with homosexuality and often in denial about their own orientation. On the one hand, trawling for supporters for their hate pages as they do (because with them it’s all about size, not quality), they occasionally say things like “i dont care if two fags wanna get married i just hate burqas…” or words to that effect. On the other hand they are very quick to use words like “faggot” and “gay” to demonise their opponents, and when they are not drowning asylum seekers or chesting up for “white Straya” they can often be found frolicking in homophobic groups.

Andy & Donna

Secondly they are very interested in the sex life of Muslims. As far as we know, Muslims have sex just like everyone else on the planet, but not according to the bogotariat.

Ronald Monroe

Pedeophile? A new perversion there Ronnie.

Christopher O' Reilly

For a young bloke Chris certainly seems to know a lot more than he probably should about women’s bits. And “teh_FGM”

Female Genital Mutilation is a grave problem in certain parts of the world. It is certainly not confined to a small number of Muslims who practice it. But very very few Muslims in Australia would be victims.

Property tycoon “Ele Fre”gives us the lowdown on someone called “MOMO”. Scary stuff – “Ele”‘s theological knowledge that is.

Elessa

Fabric expert Ang Os draws attention to the “gay Muslins” – that’s nice Ang, now we know what fabric is  in for Spring – before going down the predictable scary paedophile path.

In what passes for conversation in one of their covens, several Islamophobes come to grips with their belief that “child marriages” (code for “paedophilia”, their favourite perversion) are rife in the Middle East. Now “Ray G” actually tries to insert some factual evidence into the discussion but is quickly sat upon by the others.

Bonnie Caverly

Bonnie Caverly 2

“Ray G” of course knows as we do that the notorious picture showing young men with small girls is in fact a Muslim wedding, but  the little girls are actually junior bridesmaids. But then again it is not as much fun and not so loin-stirring for the phobes if they are faced with the truth. So after being pointed in the right direction they just keep going on and on. Obsessed much?

Next, Mary Jane for instance wonders about “dirty Muslim men” bringing “child brides” into this country. Never mind that  no one in Australia is allowed to get married before the age of 18 – perhaps Mary lives in another country? In both the state of Georgia in the US and the Republic of Georgia in the Caucuses, both Christian majority jurisdictions, and in Scotland, part of the UK, you can be married long before 18. In  fact you are more likely to find a “child bride” in Bonny Scotland than you are in suburban Sydney.

Convert to Allan

We are rather interested too in this new deity called Allen. Does she mean Alan Jones perhaps? We can assure her unequivocally that Alan Jones is not interested in having a child bride.

Michelle Alexander

Well Michelle, all religions are inherently anti-woman. And we know plenty of non-Muslim men in Australia who are dickheads where women are concerned. Just look at the stats on domestic violence and sexual assault in this country. And sexual predators don’t care whether you are naked or covered from head to foot because sex offences are all about power not sexual attraction.

Now can anybody help Ellen with a copy of the “quarne” (sic). We can’t.

But Steve Clayton has assured her that Muslims are “shirt-lifters” as well as having a perverted fondness for animals. One can only assume that Steve has deep and intimate knowledge of these things. Must be tiring being polyperverse, eh Steve?

Ellen Forrester

Ryan is obviously a serious seeker after truth.

Ryan Leaf

However it is unlikely he will find out though because no sensible woman of any religious persuasion would go near him.

Samantha Mitchell

Samantha thinks that Muslim women are very tiny. We doubt if Muslim women are under anyone’s thumb – certainly no more so than Christian women.

And Marg has a very unhealthy interest in the clitorises of other women. We would advise women to stay away from Marg. We are also amazed that these kids have managed to get married in Australia at the age of 9 – oh that’s right, we are talking about Marg now and this is Straya.

Marg Lennon

“Hammer Field” is yet another self-appointed “sexpert”. Check out his picture below and you can see why he might lack practical knowledge.

Hammer Field

“Hammer Field” is very excited about “thighing”. So are a lot of the bogots, we’ve noticed.

Nicky Folkes

Failed serial political candidate Nick of course is bursting with tumescent insight. After damning Islam with the charge of chauvinism he then makes a totally chauvinistic observation about women.

Continuing with the burgeoning excitement, he then lovingly describes bending over for terrorists.

Now despite their intense, somewhat obsessive and downright pornographic  interest in what they imagine  the sex lives of Muslims is, bogots cannot help assuming the high moral ground (you know, the one they are never on themselves) when it comes to their opponents. Here’s homespun homophobe Toohey again on motherhood.

Paul Toohey

So what were you fed as a child Paul? Oh wait…don’t tell us!

The APP and the ADL: Working Together to Fail at a Whole New Level

Whoa, whoa whoa. You mean THIS rally, Shermon?

Yeah, this is the ADL/APP rally that Shermon Burgess is talking about. Organised by self-proclaimed ADL (Australian Defence League) leader, Martin Brennan from behind the bars of a far-flung immigration detention centre, the rally has been described as a ‘complete success’ by members and supporters of the APP (Australian Protectionist Party) and the ADL. In fact, if you ask the APP or ADL supporters how many people turned up on the day, they’ll tell you anywhere between 70 – 200.

How do we know not to believe them?

1. Four of our TAB admin were present on the day, and witnessed no more than 35, by our count.

2. The photo below of the entire rally collective shows no more than 32.

3. The APP and the ADL have a proud history of organising fail rallies (see bottom of page) that attract barely enough people to field a social touch football game.

Martin Brennan, self proclaimed leader of the ADL proudly teamed up with infamous sex-store worker Darrin Hodges to pull together this many bogans. Two of the largest right-wing collectives in Australia couldn’t pull together more than 35 people. And this is after Martin talked about his enthusiasm at leading Australia ‘out of the lion’s den’ and Darrin advertised the rally all over his ‘party’s website, and his various Facebook groups which include ‘Fuck Off We’re Full’.

And here is one of the guys that spoke on behalf of the ADL on the day, Richard Lalich. Yep, he’s been previously charged for assaulting women and police officers.

So, how successful was this rally? Well we know that Martin Brennan has failed in his bid to have his illegal immigration incarceration overturned, and has since pulled down his self-created FREE MARTIN BRENNAN Facebook page.

Brennan has now been replaced as leader of the ADL as well, to be replaced by another resident fuckbag in the form of Max Chambers (formerly Max ADL). See below…

So just who is Max Chambers of the ADL? Here is a publicly visible photo from his Facebook profile:

And here is he is with his perfectly harmless style of leadership:

(Written on Australia Day…)

So the ADL and the APP are still being led by the type of people who have been locked up and worship Nazis. They install leaders that aren’t even from Australia that are ironically locked up for breaching immigration laws, and they frequently resort to tactics that centre around intimidating and threatening.

In case you missed it, here are some photos and links to previous FAILS on behalf of the APP, the ADL and other various groups:

ANOTHER FAIL

One Big Fat Failure

Another Big Fat Failure

Late Mail on the APP Failure

Two More Epic Fails on the Way

The Australian Protectionist Pathetics Election Results

Australian Soldier Beats Local Residents

It’s A Cowardly Racist Who Hides Behind Cars

The APP Fail Again

Read more about the APP, the ADL and their various failures at SlackBastard.