Darren Beatle Bailey Morris Wants You To Fight Him

He’s just the bigot-troll doll gift that keeps on giving. I’m sure you remember Darren Beatle Bailey Morris but in case you’ve forgotten, here he is:

Here’s a rant he delivered just prior to New Years Eve (2012). We hope it brightens up your Monday!

Screen Shot 2012-12-31 at 5.05.04 PM

And some messages sent earlier last year to one of the Goblin’s amorous conquests female targets. He really thinks he is hot shit with women. She didn’t however, and was happy to pass them on to us.

Goblin love

And in case you are interested, a glimpse into the complex mind of this deep stinker

Darren pervert

The Manchurian Brisbanian Candidate

Angry Goblin

Raymond Shaw Walter Mitty Darren Beatle Bailey-Morris is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.”

Or so he thinks.

Darren loves men

Yes he does. In a mannish sort of way of course. None of that preverty stuff with Goblin. Goblin wants to preserve his precious bodily fluids. He’s a man’s man and never gets sick of telling everyone ad nauseam.

At least he loves sending them messages on Facebook then blocking them so they cannot tell him what a dickhead he is. Like this unfortunate guy for example.

Message 1

Message 2

Goblin message 3

But Goblin couldn’t resist. Seems like he couldn’t wait to meet his quarry and bring his sister along as chaperone – just so there wouldn’t be any funny business. Goblin is like that with funny business.

Goblin in love

Darren loves women

He is so concerned that one of his targets needs some action that he offers to introduce her to some men in the ADL with whom he seems to be on intimate terms.

Goblin wants to meet

Darren loves Straya

He loves Straya so much he has managed to imagine an alternative universe into existence where he served in the SASR some time in the early to mid 80s, when Australia was not actually engaged in major hostilities.

So not only has General Goblin imagined a warrior role for himself but he has also imagined a conflict which never took place.

Stephen Hawking would like to talk to you Gobs. Err…no he wouldn’t…

Goblin SAS1

Goblin SAS2

Goblin service

Darren also loves new technology

He is an early adapter and uses his freshly honed Twitter skills to contact his target to discuss his media appearances.

Get over it Gobbles. No such thing as bad publicity.

Goblin wants to sue

But notwithstanding all the above we hate to discourage the lad. After all it is rare to find such batshit craziness fervent patriotism coupled with such willingness to use social media to stalk and threaten pursue positive social relationships.

So we repeat the mantra

Raymond Shaw Walter Mitty Darren Beatle Bailey-Morris is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most wonderful human being I’ve ever known in my life.”

More Achievements

Anti-Racism Memes

Nutzis in Love Part 1

A Man For No Seasons

The Chocolate Soldier Melts

The APDM hates women

The ADL Fail Again – Under A Different Name

The Chocolate Soldier Melts

Whenever the wind is in the wrong direction and a warm surge of outraged testosterone gathers in the bogot groin, the bogot forms a patriotic group.

The outrage doesn’t have to have a reason behind it that any normal person can understand because it’s all about feelings.


This comment was made in response to someone who had asked for…gasp…evidence and just about sums up the whole thought process behind hate politics.

Can’t get a job? Blame Muslims/overseas students/asylum seekers. Pressures of modern life?  Blame asylum seekers/overseas students/Muslims. Kids slacking off at school? Family problems? Blame all three.

Don’t forget to add a liberal dash of homophobia, gynophobia and harebrained foil-hattedness as well.

We have seen a number of these groups rush onto Facebook, erupt like a mass outbreak of pustules then subside into festering cystic hate.

Find a suitably hairy-chested title, elevate some loser or a group of losers to be the official faces, precede your action with a flurry of obscenity-ridden posts designed to inflame your followers and to establish your credentials as a hard man then set a date for your “action”.

Occasionally these Facebook hate-festers spill into the real world. A small bunch of whiners will scrape together an ill-thought-out demonstration. They will then strenuously manage to control their mutual distrust and hatred for a couple of hours to loudly proclaim their message to a usually bemused public. In the process of course, they manage to publicly vilify religious and ethnic minorities while desperately and unsuccessfully  trying to convey an impression of mainstream positive activism and consensus.

One such recent group is the self-styled “ Australian Patriotic Defence Movement” (APDM).  One of its stalwarts is Darren Bailey-Morris, self-styled “SAS veteran”.

Obviously if our goblin friend is ex-SAS he would be familiar with a range of lethal weaponry which could be deployed against a dangerous enemy, not to mention techniques of unarmed combat. Furthermore, the SAS has a very stringent checklist of personal qualities which it demands of its soldiers, including the ability to be effective communicators. Applicants are also subjected to psychological evaluation.

So it is revealing indeed to see how our hero dealt with a clear and present danger to his own person.

It turns out that at a recent demonstration in Brisbane, Goblin was apparently getting close and intimate with someone he calls a “fag”. Well Darren, you know it’s not illegal to be attracted to the same sex. We are not going to condemn you for that.

Darren Bailey-Morris

Goblin has even managed to rouse alcohol fan John Winter from his self-induced haze, while Sandra Rogic is as usual getting very excited about very little.

However the hot coffee over the balcony was not really very manly was it now? Not what a real soldier would do.  Especially not someone who says he was in the SAS. Especially not when you could end up in court on a charge of common assault after mentioning it twice on a page with a potential audience of 4 billion people.

Darren Bailey-Morris

We thought you might like to see more of the Goblin Warrior’s soldierly qualities on show. Enjoy.

Australian Patriots Defence Movement of the Bowels

Maybe you should have told Darren, Wyatt! Beatle doesn’t mind a bit of slap and tickle with unknown women – you really should have had him on a leash.

Ah, that’s the spirit Scott. Stand up against Darren’s violent ways. At least Darren understands that racist (and sexist) remarks are just going to paint you as rednecks.

Oh Darren, it seems you couldn’t control your racist, violent or sexist ways on the day of the first official rally for the APDM (Australian Patriots Defence Movement). Perhaps you should grow up and fill that fat head of yours with some intelligence! Pick up a book sometime!

Nothing like a bit of street-lit, eh Beatle? Especially when it’s all about ‘peeeee-dophilia’!

As you were. Over and out.