Nick o’doherty : “YOUR OPININONS COUNT(sic)”

The speech that stops the barbie

So slap a drop bear on the cook top, bite the top off a Darwin stubby and harden up harken to the words of Nick!

In all our recorded history such words have never been uttered!  If you don’t believe us ask a barristor (sic) !

Barrister barrista barristor

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nickodoherty2

Politics and the Bogot

The bogots are passionate about their politics, while understanding very little about the political process of the country in which they live.

Take the national icons for example.

Bogans

Bogots overwhelmingly  love the flag. It adorns their houses, their cars, their shoulders, bums and boobs. It provides much material for lurid tattoos. It decorates them at a range of public occasions from Big Day Out to the footie to the next anticipated punch-up with lefties greenies Muslims “unStrayans”.

Kudelka cartoon

We breathlessly await the flag franger so every bogot banana can be proud and protected.. Something like this effect for whenever the bogot feels one coming on. Matter of fact, the bogot has one now.

Flag franger

Bogots are quite adamant that the Anzacs fought under the current Australian flag in WWI. Sadly for them, the Anzacs did not. They fought under the Union Jack, the flag of Britain and its Empire.

Likewise the bogot is convinced that Australia’s Constitution, a document which most of them have not read, contains a provision for “free speech”. Again, it does not.

Now Mark [name removed] is very concerned about the direction Straya is heading.

We were not aware that curtains had political parties. Maybe Mark is confused because he read something about Curtin, one of Australia’s greatest Prime Ministers. Or maybe he is worried about Daylight Saving. Thankfully he is not going to run anyone out of town about it. We are all breathing easier at TAB.

Nevertheless his mate Gary, a laundry expert, is in no doubt about what he wants done with the curtains.

Joel Rickard desperately wants an election. He may have even been watching events unfold in the Middle East, where people have taken to the streets to get rid of their governments. Or maybe not – the bogots don’t like the Middle East.

Joel Rickard

Sadly, Joel is yet another who is ignorant of the Constitution. There are only a few very specific circumstances in which the Governor-General is empowered to call an election, and none of them exist at the moment, even with a minority government. Even with a “petetition” (sic)

Fortunately, Antony Green, probably Australia’s foremost expert on election matters, has answers.

Nathan Smith, Newcastle’s own Pathetic Party stalwart (yes, there is one) is on about they. We assumed he meant the overwhelming majority of the Australian people who do not subscribe to the politics of the APP and parties like it, but apparently not. He is talking about asylum seekers.

Nathan Smith

So according to Nathan the two or three thousand boat arrivals who come here each year and who cannot vote until they have achieved permanent residency and citizenship (a process which can take several years) apparently have the power to hugely influence elections. Someone better tell the major political parties, especially Labor. Maybe they’ll change their asylum seeker policy.

Pete Barry is keen on defending Straya by re-introducing national service, a policy which frankly has failed to receive much support from the electorate in the past . Perhaps it will be more attractive with some “flexability” (sic) which sounds like our soldiers might be doing some stretching exercises.  We were hoping Pete might elaborate, but unfortunately he then got distracted by the serious question of leadership.

We have noticed that the bogots love the concept of leadership, being the dedicated sheep-like followers they are. And Pete Barry is in no doubt as to who should run Straya – failed serial political candidate Pauline Hanson is his pick for PM.

Pauline for PM

It is hard to know how Pete came to that conclusion, since Hanson was rejected as a political candidate in turn by the Liberal Party, then her own party. Then again impulsive brain-farts based on no evidence whatsoever  have long characterised bogot thinking.

Now here’s Julie Coleman, Facebook’s own version of Crownies  Tracey Samuels.

Fortunately “Tracey Samuels” is a fictitious character. Unfortunately Julie Coleman is not.

From her own personal high moral Everest Julie ceaselessly patrols the Internet stabbing her cyber-digit at those of whom she disapproves. Of course, they all lie to the left of Julie politically. Most of the country does.

Julie Coleman

We think she was talking about TAB. We would quite happily accept donations but unfortunately we do not for all sorts of sound legal reasons.

We know that religion can be a good cash cow, but we have better things to do with our weekends.

Now here’s a Batty who is quite sure it knows what TAB is.

Psychobat

Err…never heard of “social alliance” (sic). Please explain…