Election special No 1 – Ratbags of Riverina

Welcome to The Antibogan’s first election special.

We hope to regularly feature some of the more bizarre election candidates who will be surfacing between now and September 7.

Naturally they will either be standing as candidates for extremist micro-parties or as independents. However we do know of some who have made their way into mainstream parties.  Just check our tag cloud.

First on the ratbag rollercoaster is the Federal Division of Riverina in south-west NSW on the banks of the Murray.

Electors of Riverina are faced with no less than four fringe candidates out of a total of seven. There must be something in the water down there.

1. Lex Stewart (Palmer United Party)

lexstewart

We first featured serial party person Lex Stewart here

Obviously Clive Palmer is not aware of his candidate’s colourful past, or if he is he does not care.

Lex lives in the otherwise nice little Snowy Mountains town of Adaminaby (above the waterline we trust) and has a Facebook page here where he is still espousing protectionism and strangely enough supporting a Family First page as well as some Clive candidates – so it’s back to the 50s with Lex, family style.

Despite all those wholesome Mad Men-era family values we doubt if Nationals incumbent Michael McCormack, sitting on a margin of 18.2%, has much to worry about from Party Boy.

2. Lorraine Sharp (Australia First Party)

lorrainesharp

Holding up the somewhat saggy neo-Nazi end in the bush is Lorraine Sharp. She has a policy declaration on the Australia First website (which we don’t wish to link to) where she invites people to take revenge upon the political class (students of Political Science at CSU Wagga campus be warned!) then goes on with the usual League of Rights – derived rant about globalisation, locking the dollar up etc etc – more nostalgia for a lost world that wasn’t all that good in the first place.

She doesn’t much like Chinese people though.

To quote her:

I see the Chinese trade centre in Wagga Wagga as the spider in the middle of the web of overseas takeover of our land and an agency of a pure and simple imperialism.

Nor does she much like Wagga City Council

Shades of the Yellow Peril!

Though we are glad to see that Lorraine at least has the decency to keep her shirt on and to not display any dodgy swastika tatts, unlike most of the male AFP fans. That might get a couple of votes. Her and hubby perhaps.

3. Paul Funnell (Democratic Labor Party)

paulfunnell

On the surface this guy seems very mild-mannered. Almost normal in a conservative sort of way. According to the DLP website

Paul was born and raised in West Wyalong, educated by the Christian Brothers and has experience owning and managing small businesses

However a look at the policies of the DLP reveal that not much has changed since the days of Bob Santamaria and Brian Harradine. No joy for supporters of marriage equality, not much for women, ambiguous policies towards refugees and asylum seekers and religious bodies are allowed to discriminate in employment and service provision.

Only difference is the bogeymen under the beds have changed hue from red to green. Though according to the DLP their lives all began at conception.

And Paul is keen to have a mass “great debate”

4. Kim Heath (Rise Up Australia)

kimheath

Here’s schoolteacher Kim ready to fight the good fight against the Muslamic hordes teeming into Riverina. Good luck with reconciling her teaching career with being the public face of a party of hate and bigotry.

This must be the worst campaign photo we have ever seen. Makes us wonder whether Mad Danny really wants her to get any votes.

In other news

Election 2013 – guide to the freak show

Dennis Jensen MP tells Indigenous woman to get over colonialism

And thanks to the source of the pictures

21 thoughts on “Election special No 1 – Ratbags of Riverina

  1. My electorate, my shame! I am ashamed we have to recognise them on the ballot, we have to recognise their right to run on those platforms, whilst I would not want to take that right away from anyone except the certifiably insane or serial killer I do feel shame that the domestic political scene has degenerated to such a level where the major parties are mirror images of each other and the vote comes down to the very America popularity contest, I do think electoral reform for a candidates ability to be endorsed as eligible for the ballot by the AEC needs scrutiny and fine tuning, we should be presented with our best and brightest not this lot.

    • You could be right about the certifiably insane with some of these.

      I wouldn’t discount serial killers either when you consider some of the extremist parties are standing boofy blokes in some seats who wouldn’t look out of place in Wolf Creek.

  2. Ugh, what is it about safe conservative seats that bring out the crazies? In Murray as it looks like Labor may not even run a candidate, I’m left in the sticky situation where my second preference may go to Katter’s party, because compared to all other candidates (Including Palmer’s Party, Australian Chrsitian, Rise up, Citizen’s electoral council), he’s comparatively left wing!

  3. We only have to recognise these candidates on our ballot paper, because the federal government is incapable of reforming it’s voting system and allowing optional preferential voting like the states. The only reform the feds could come up with was this ridiculous above and below the line on the Senate ballot paper.

  4. I am sooooooooooooooo unexcited by this upcoming election. We know that we will end up with either a Coalition or an ALP governemnt; both parties are currently in the business of going for the lowest common denominator, and both are hellbent on surplus worship, a ploy that every respectable economist in the world has warned us will screw the economy up for good. I can only hope that we have a hung parliament once again, with Abbott as PM… then he’ll learn just how tough it was for Julie to try to run a country in such circumstance. And let’s just hope the Greens do well in the Senate, because only then some sanity will prevail.

    • The Greens, “sanity”? Let all the boat people in, who cares about the economy, do they even have realistic policies? I thought they were just a protest party.

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