The Bogot History of Straya

Once upon a time there was a mythical wide brown land called Straya. It suddenly appeared in 1788 even though according to scientists it was probably the world’s oldest continent and one of the first to be continuously inhabited by modern humans (feral unwashed leftie propaganda) and was then sprinkled with white people, something like a giant flat Pacific lamington.

There were people already living in Straya even though the English said that no one lived here so they didn’t really live here. So the English called the land “Terror Nullius” or something.  Probably because these people ran away in terror and hid from the strange white ghosts. A wise move.

In many ways they probably wish they were still hiding.

Ghosts

Life for the people who were here in the first place changed just like this.

Aboriginal rights

We can see the Aborigines got better toilets from it. That’s what true Strayans would say anyhow.

The white people liked to think they had a unique kinship with the often challenging and cruel bush, the ancient mountains, the eerie silences and the baking hot deserts. Not to mention the flies, the mozzies and the cow and sheep dung. That is why they moved as quickly as possible to the coast where most of them live now. But they still had the bush poets like Banjo Paterson, who spent most of his adult life in the harsh wilderness of Gladesville, to tell them about their bush heritage.

Life was tough in the Paterson bush hovel

All true Strayans embraced Ned Kelly and Eureka  woops …

(Warning for true Strayans – feral unwashed leftie multicultural propaganda)

Straya’s best time was in the war (any war) especially the Great War where they won at Gallipoli. This was followed by WWII which they also won.  Strayans don’t like to talk much about the Depression because no one won anything then and there were no Diggers.

Then there was the 1950s when absolutely everyone was white (except for the Indigenous people, the Chinese, the Afghan descendants, the Kanak descendants, the Pacific Islanders, the Cocos Malays etc etc) and had white fences around their houses. Women were called ladies and stayed home. They weren’t allowed in pubs much anyway.

A cup of tea, a Bex and a good lie down while waiting for the man of the house to come home

Strayan men on the other hand worked very hard

This was the time everyone at school saluted the British flag at morning Assembly and sang to the British Queen. And did lots of marching. That gave them lots of skills and knowledge about things.

Marching was good for the brain

And  people who were not even born then remember that time, know exactly what it was like and are always talking about it and wanting to return there.

Straya rode on the sheep’s back. It must have been uncomfortable.

Sheep's back

Straya only had two Prime Ministers.

Bogots have an innate understanding of Australian political history

They are both here. Strayans loved them

Both PMs

Bogots like watching telly so here’s an educational video.

Another educational video here

27 thoughts on “The Bogot History of Straya

  1. lol – not bad! A pretty funny ironic description of the reality.

    Now… don’t get mad at me – but I have to say… the only thing though that kind of left a bitter taste after reading however though was the slight “jibe” (and correct me if I have misinterpreted it) at Banjo Patterson, Ned Kelly and the Gallipoli soliders…. can’t we embrace both?

    I mean, I’m fully in agreeance about our despicable treatment of Aborigines, outdated views on women, etc etc – but I still respect Banjo (he was a great poet), Ned Kelly I think is still important in our history (tale of an Irishman, the mistreatment of the typical “underclasses”) and my grandfather died over in the Somme in France (he was drafted) so the Nazi’s wouldn’t be in power and we can enjoy the freedoms we have today….

    I won’t let the Bogots take over these “moments” or “personalities” of our history. They have both good and bad sides… it’s not all black and white.

    • Still Banjo Paterson seldom ventured into the bush except for brief stays. He was also comfortably off financially even without his writing.

      Don’t get me started on Lawson…

      • So what? There are plenty of talented writers that have a way with words, but have not necessarily experienced what they are writing about…? This seems to be a bit of a “Tall Poppy Syndrome” knock down if you ask me. Even if he was financially comfortable before he started writing – does that mean he shouldn’t write? or that his work is any less legitimate as a perspective? aka, because he is rich / part of the “upper classes” – he can’t possibly know? That seems a bit easy to me. For example, Thomas Keneally (Aussie and author of Schindlers Ark / List) didn’t exactly live during the Nazi era in Germany either…. 😉

        We shouldn’t knock down those that actually go out and do something (writing, painting, whatever) – but look at the bigger picture…. Why is it that we only read Henry Lawson & Banjo Patterson in school, when we could also read Oodgeroo Noonuccal, etc. It’s not that they (Patterson & Lawson) are bad writers, it’s a question of having balance – and not discrediting something because either a) it was written by a Koori, or b) because it was written by a borgeoise Englishman – but being able to read both and form your own opinion based on the quality of their writing…

        And like it or not – they are both Australian icons…

        • The thing is when you mention Banjo the bogots immediately picture Jack Thompson or someone like him, an actor pretending to be a bushie. In fact Australian myths were probably heavily influenced by the Australian film industry which flourished at the turn of last century and for many years afterwards – probably to a greater extent than the influence Hollywood had over American myths.

        • Don’t forget Lawson was the Andrew Bolt of his day. That is why he appeals to certain members of the far right, notwithstanding his excellent body of work.

        • “Don’t forget Lawson was the Andrew Bolt of his day.” – Holy Cow! thats a big call; I’ll have to disagree with you there…. one wrote poetry; the other is a crap pseudo-journalist with absolutely no writing talent at all. I think Andrew Bolt is a purely unique specimen of Bogot in fact; unique in the sense that his ass must be jealous of what comes out of his mouth/what he writes most of the time.

          “That is why he appeals to certain members of the far right, notwithstanding his excellent body of work.” – that’s just my point…. I won’t let the “Bogots” use him as a weapon in their cause; they may “read” his work one way, and interpret it in their own, uniquely stupid way – doesn’t mean they are right ….?

          Similar to the Communist Manifesto – just because it was later used by dictatorships to promote/force their cause, doesn’t mean that it’s a bad view/book. In fact, to read it – it makes a lot of sense.

          “In fact Australian myths were probably heavily influenced by the Australian film industry which flourished at the turn of last century and for many years afterwards – probably to a greater extent than the influence Hollywood had over American myths.” – ah, now I agree with you whole-heartedly!

          It’s moreso how we choose to present history/use myths/ in our modern day society that is a problem. As they say – History is always recounted by the “victor”… unfortunately.

    • Please note that the Somme battles were fought in ww1 – as was Gallipoli. The Somme battles had no impact on the rise or fall of Nazism, as the Nazis did not come tp power until the decadde after ww1 ended. ww2 was fought over the collision between capitalism, communism and fascism, so I am afraid your grandfather did not fight in any battle that helped end nazism, unless he was a ww2 soldier. Also, no Australian soldier that served in the Somme battles was drafted. All Australian troops were volunteers.

  2. I good piss take and I think it’s important to be able to look at out flaws with a bit of humour. We have a very chequered past with both despicable and inspirational deeds, both have played their part in creating the amazing country we live in. Even though you highlight the worst of our society on this site, I truly believe that the majority of Australians are good people with compassionate hearts, the Admins and most of those that contribute here included.

  3. It’s funny how I find myself defending Julia Gillard from misogynistic morons all the time. I don’t even like many of her policies, specially when it comes to the environment and I voted for the Greens myself. Even so, I think she does get an unfair amount of flak simply for being a woman.

    More to the point, awesome satire.

    The prime minister collage cracked me up.

    • I don’t like her much either but I prefer her to Tony Abbott any day and I feel the need to defend her from misogyny too. Also, the fact that she’s a childless, atheist, Welsh immigrant in a de facto relationship as well as the first female PM is something I find refreshing.

      • On a related note – I wonder why it is that the Kiwis always beat us when it comes to women in politics? First, they were the first country to give (us) women the vote, then – they had a female Prime Minister well before us, back when we were still fluffing about with Howard the coward. I’m starting to think they are far more evolved… 😉

  4. Pffft! Is nothing to you lot good about our country…..why don’t you just leave…….and do us all a favour…….

  5. Wow. Some intolerant and bigoted responses up here.

    But thats ok isn’t it. Because you are morally superior……….

  6. This is racist propaganda The words redneck and nigger are equally repulsive and this is a warped representation of a group of people that is in no way informed by prevailing international standards of the time of such disasters as the English invasion, white Australia policy and other deplorable mistakes. Stop your racist hypocrisy….

    • Nigger = all black people.

      Redneck/bogan = predominantly white people BUT restricted to only those who exhibit negative behaviors such as racism, sexism, homophobia, alcoholism etc.

      Summary. All black people have a right to be offended by the word nigger. Not all white people are rednecks/bogans.

      • The term redneck and the term bogan are used as general terms of racial abuse against white people, no restriction exists on the use of these racist terms. You are speaking from your own context only when you make this very generalised statement.

    • “….a group of people that is in no way informed by prevailing international standards of the time of such disasters as the English invasion, white Australia policy and other deplorable mistakes.”

      So basically, what you are saying is, these people had no idea that killing, beating, raping, molesting, torturing and starving the aborigines was a bad thing? That they didn’t know they were “invading” and inhabited land? Are you serious?

      They knew. They also knew that in invading Australia, they were going against existing international standards when it comes to occupied land (otherwise, they wouldn’t have been signing a treaty with the Maori’s at about the same time)… And the Mabo case, which overturned Terra Nulius, proves that. They just decided to ignore morality, decency and their own conscience in favour of wealth, land and a misguided sentiment of superiority.

      Pfft. Racist hypocracy indeed.

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