On very rare occasions the Australian Pathetic Protectionist Party moves away from vilifying Muslims and ponderously chews over other issues.
Failed serial political candidate Nicky Folkes is bursting with excitement about a new petition he has found to sign.
Leaving aside the fact that the Labor National Conference delegates are unlikely to take any notice of him and his micro-party and with his newly-discovered aptitude for theology Nicky then breathlessly informs the masses that the PM is possessed by the devil. We hope he has let the Labor Party know.
But wait! APP stalwart Anna Dean dares to disagree with Nicky. Not only does she dare to disagree with Nicky she makes an intelligent observation while doing so.
Sadly this amazing event lasts a mere nanosecond as Christian soldier Harry Grech wades in, tells Anna to shut up and treats fellow party members to his deeply intimate knowledge of same sex relationships.
In fact the only concession to compassion Harry the Hero will make is that he wants little kids to stop getting their heads twisted – something they have no doubt learnt from the APP.
Speaking of twisted heads, let’s go back to Nicky. After making a blanket statement about the Liberal Party which is not quite true (a controlling faction of the party is against same sex marriage, its leader has confessed he is “scared” of gays, but a considerable number of individual Coalition politicians are not), in order to maintain control he then asks Anna a completely pointless question. Nicky then conflates same sex marriage with “the destruction of the family unit” and of course drags in his favourite political scapegoats, the Greens.
And Nicky, by the way we happen to think that a compassionate, decent, intelligent and tolerant Bob Brown would be a much better father to anyone’s kids than would just about any member of an intolerant racist misogynist white exceptionalist party like the Pathetics.
But there’s more. Enter the APP’s own sexpert Bec Atkins, accompanied by Dirty Harry, to add their 5c worth of mythology.
Bec is rather keen on this “species furthering” stuff. Maybe she’s trying to get a one-woman membership drive going for the Pathetics? Maybe Bec should take up dog-breeding?
Err…hate to tell you this Nicky but “marriage” is not thousands of years old – not for the general population. Women (and to some extent men) were barter objects used by wealthy and/or powerful parents to cement alliances, ensure dynastic continuity and safeguard financial and property assets. People of the non-monied classes simply co-habited with the person they chose, or in the case of poor women, were abducted, or in the case of slave women, were often made part of a wealthy man’s harem. Their fates are not recorded.
Now grizzled veteran Jean Gilmour enters the fray. Jodie Smith is another one who is offering intelligent and reasoned opinions and Jean is here to put a stop to all that nonsense.
Then having put that unruly gel in her place, Jean climbs her personal Mt Sinai, assumes prophetic mode and declaims
Imagine, a far right misogynist homophobic party with absolutist religious foundations. Do the Pathetics have a real Hizbollah thing happening there?