The Chocolate Soldier Melts

Whenever the wind is in the wrong direction and a warm surge of outraged testosterone gathers in the bogot groin, the bogot forms a patriotic group.

The outrage doesn’t have to have a reason behind it that any normal person can understand because it’s all about feelings.


This comment was made in response to someone who had asked for…gasp…evidence and just about sums up the whole thought process behind hate politics.

Can’t get a job? Blame Muslims/overseas students/asylum seekers. Pressures of modern life?  Blame asylum seekers/overseas students/Muslims. Kids slacking off at school? Family problems? Blame all three.

Don’t forget to add a liberal dash of homophobia, gynophobia and harebrained foil-hattedness as well.

We have seen a number of these groups rush onto Facebook, erupt like a mass outbreak of pustules then subside into festering cystic hate.

Find a suitably hairy-chested title, elevate some loser or a group of losers to be the official faces, precede your action with a flurry of obscenity-ridden posts designed to inflame your followers and to establish your credentials as a hard man then set a date for your “action”.

Occasionally these Facebook hate-festers spill into the real world. A small bunch of whiners will scrape together an ill-thought-out demonstration. They will then strenuously manage to control their mutual distrust and hatred for a couple of hours to loudly proclaim their message to a usually bemused public. In the process of course, they manage to publicly vilify religious and ethnic minorities while desperately and unsuccessfully  trying to convey an impression of mainstream positive activism and consensus.

One such recent group is the self-styled “ Australian Patriotic Defence Movement” (APDM).  One of its stalwarts is Darren Bailey-Morris, self-styled “SAS veteran”.

Obviously if our goblin friend is ex-SAS he would be familiar with a range of lethal weaponry which could be deployed against a dangerous enemy, not to mention techniques of unarmed combat. Furthermore, the SAS has a very stringent checklist of personal qualities which it demands of its soldiers, including the ability to be effective communicators. Applicants are also subjected to psychological evaluation.

So it is revealing indeed to see how our hero dealt with a clear and present danger to his own person.

It turns out that at a recent demonstration in Brisbane, Goblin was apparently getting close and intimate with someone he calls a “fag”. Well Darren, you know it’s not illegal to be attracted to the same sex. We are not going to condemn you for that.

Darren Bailey-Morris

Goblin has even managed to rouse alcohol fan John Winter from his self-induced haze, while Sandra Rogic is as usual getting very excited about very little.

However the hot coffee over the balcony was not really very manly was it now? Not what a real soldier would do.  Especially not someone who says he was in the SAS. Especially not when you could end up in court on a charge of common assault after mentioning it twice on a page with a potential audience of 4 billion people.

Darren Bailey-Morris

We thought you might like to see more of the Goblin Warrior’s soldierly qualities on show. Enjoy.

19 thoughts on “The Chocolate Soldier Melts

  1. Darren Beatle Bailey-Morris (surely not your real name? LOL) watch the video and you would see YOU were the one who ran to The Police crying and then they ignore you LOL.

    What did they say to you?

    Grow some balls?

  2. How to win a debate, Beatle style:

    1. Call the opposing side a “fag”.
    2. Tell the opposing side that they support to PLO.
    3. Pour coffee on your opponent
    4. Obtain your opponents address so you can threaten their family.
    BONUS: Drop in a rip-snorting piece of comedy gold. Say, pretend you live at the Opera House or some other famous landmark.

  3. Yeah, just like I don’t need any evidence to point out that Darren whatsits is…let us say… a couple of fries short of a happy meal. :/

    Reading any rant which contains the word “fag” (or regional equivalent) in a non-sarcastic sense almost certainly brings down one’s IQ by a couple of points. Fucking yellow bellied homophobe.

  4. Thanks Darren!!

    A couple of quick calls have confirmed you have never been in the SASR, at all!

    So, the Association is now aware of your ‘heroic claims’,

    Expect some calls, the real SAS Association do not like people like you tarnishing their name with your bullshit.

    Thank you again Darren, this is just what I have been looking for.

    Enjoy your fantasy dead shit.


  5. Good job Darren wasn’t in Afghanistan……can you imagine how many cappachinos would need to be sent over for his personal armoury? Or maybe he would take them on single-handed with a doppio in one hand and a couple of chai lattes in the other. Just remember, if you’re going to meet this man for a political discussion, don’t do it at Starbucks!

  6. We shouldn’t mocha him, the APDM is part of the Vienna convention, though Darren and his hot-shots are on the espresso road to nowhere.

  7. From what I’ve seen of Darren he does love talking about gays, and gay sex. And he is quick to point out ho great it is for a guy to hang around “real men” and spend all their time with “real men”

    He also recently complained that lefties spend all their time with women because they can’t handle “real men”

    I brought this up with him, and he assured me he has sex with women. But doesn’t want to spend any time with them other than that, as that would take away valuable time he could be spending with the tough, strong, real men he prefers to hang out with.

    Darren-fuck a dude! It’s clear you don’t like women, and you love “real men” so go and fuck a dude sometime! You’d get sex, as well as an example of strong men doing strong things, and be able to play football with them afterwards!

  8. Some of the regular commenters on this page have been dealing with these clowns so long that you seem to almost have a personal relationship with them. I took it upon myself to do some research on Beetle and the results were as comical as they were troubling.

    Below is a selection of my favourite Beetle quotes. You don’t need to be particularly perceptive to work out that this guy lives in fairyland.

    “Under no circumstance I would ever let a muslim (doctor) touch any one of my children, regardless, the last time one did, my daughter nearly lost her leg through gangrene…”

    (Describing Himself) “…a professional family guy with no record that has helped build a womens refuge and homeless shelter for teenage girls.”

    “The first rally was a small turnout by us- but since then we have gathered financial support from a wealthy backer, grown in support within mainstream Australia.”

    “I have no problem with any one confronting me personally as I am a real man and never run, If I get a beating I always give better than I receive well have done so the last 20 years anyway!”

    “I am a respectable man and most aussies other than muslims and drug effected jail birds admire me for my outspoken stance against radicals.”

    “I won’t resort to silly little names as I am educated but parasite does come to mind when I think of you John. A dirty stinking little flea that annoys the shit out of you for a little while before they drop off and cark it!”

    “…hope you are home when I come calling, You do know I have friends in the police, main roads, Health, education, electoral commission and finding you wasn’t that hard.”

    “I will find you as I am rat cunning and you are just a rat!”

    “I can wait and I look forward to personally assisting you for an early visit to meet Allah! Oh and without your 72 virgins.”

    “I am not a racist, I just detest and hate with a passion Muslims and their agenda!”

    “I have honourably served my country and done my share even as an Australian rep at sport.”

    “There will be one result, me making you look like the gutless little twerp you are, by the way mea and a few mates from 6 RAR- which is the royal Australian Regiment”

  9. I worked with this disgusting human being years ago. Actually, before Afghanistan conflict. There is no way he was ever there. And to say he has “friends” in health – bahahaha. This man has more enemies there than anywhere. I feel very sorry for his daughter. The man is completely disgusting and I wouldn’t let my children within a km of him!

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