Spring is in the air and along with the warmer weather the overheated brains of the bogots creak and splutter into action mode.
A wriggling handful of bogot larvae aged around 7 discuss TV superheroes….oh wait…
Now if these little tykes want a home-grown hero they need go no further than Queensland’s (and Texas’s own) dual citizen, ultra-conservative cowpoke and wearer of hats to rival Bob Katter’s, Colonel Wyatt Wharton.
Yes folks, Wart is a gennooine Dixie Colonel – of a Confederate re-enactment group located in the good ole USA. And we all know what happened to the Confederates now, don’t we?
Tell you what if we were Jackie or Tom or John we’d be trembling in our boots as Big Wart relentlessly rides the range trackin’ down them thar varmints and keepin’ Laura Norder north of the Rio Grande Tweed.. Yee-ha!!
Meanwhile back in Straya, True Blue Aussieboy, as distinct from that ole Woolloomooloo Yank Wyatt, is fretting about a world wide takeover that has left him totally incoherent, not to mention illiterate.
Now what can it be? Extra-terrestrial aliens? Feral insects? Rupert Murdoch?
No, it seems to be a “Muslame”. They must be scary indeed if they can achieve world domination using only one person from within the dull bureaucratic fortress of DIAC. Chris Bowen needs to be told!
Now here’s another muppet presumably fearing the same dastardly “Muslame”.
“People who live in australian (sic)” again raises the spectre of alien life forms taking over our bodies. They may want to “100% live and wish to live like australians (sic)” but they cannot be trusted. They might be “Muslame”. Or fake Americans even. But that’s OK. All the fake cowboys can go to Arabia and live in “there sand huts (sic)”
Trudging down the tired old path of white exceptionalism comes a two-headed creature called “Spike Heavens Angel”.
Now we are not sure which country it is in, but we are fairly sure that Australia has never been a “white country”. Nor have our near neighbours, New Zealand, PNG and Indonesia, nor any countries to the north, east and west.
Oh wait a minute. There is a land to the south of us, and it is pretty much white most of the year…except for the penguins, whales and seals. Damn their variegated hides!
We look forward to waving goodbye to Spike as it sails into the south, both heads bobbing.